November 8, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
The original idea for setting up this blog thing came from a drunken conversation with a couple of friends of mine regarding the merits of positive reviews of cultural products. That was based on having read a bunch of negative reviews of zines which seemed to be dedicated more to making the reviewer feel like a high brow cultural gatekeeper than saying anything interesting about zine publishing. There were a couple of issues we discussed:
(1) In a medium with no gatekeeper system, miniscule print runs, no profit motive and a focus on subjective and personal voices, bitchy reviews seem both irrelevant and needlessly mean.
(2) Why is whinging about shit seen as a legitimate form of activity? Isn’t a penchant for whinging sort of negative?
So our idea was to set up a blog that dealt only in positive reviews -
enforced positivity. Like a lot of drunken ideas it didn’t really come to fruition because none of us really had the time to sit down and regularly write reviews. A serious blog, and good reviews, takes effort and time. People seem to forget this with the mediums that characterise ‘Web 2.0′. Whilst the medium itself is insanely easy to use, creating content for a blog is just as time consuming as writing a book or an article. And none of us had that time. I still don’t. Hence this is a sporadically updated blog, used more for the purposes of rambling and posting photos of things I’ve seen whilst cycling, rather than something I spend a lot of time editing and paying attention to.
That said, whilst I don’t have the time to formally write a quality blog, I find the notion of ‘enforced positivity’ very appealing and, in as much as I can sporadically post pictures of things I think are neat, a blog dedicated to that notion has a lot of appeal.
Of course, the issue that strikes me the most is exactly what ‘Enforced Positivity’ actually looks like and how it’s applied. On the one hand, I don’t think of it is being purely about being cheerful, or having an ‘Glass Half Full’ or ‘Always look on the bright side of life’ approach to things. I also don’t think it as some sort of libertarian ‘You’re white and middle class, so you’ve got no reason go complain” mentality. Rather, I view it as an affirmation that whinging about things is a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you don’t know how to have a good time. It is a sign that you are a bit of a cry baby and you need to toughen up. Thus, enforced positivity is the direct opposite of whinging-for-whingings sake.
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November 2, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
I was riding my bike into town the other day when I was privy to the below scene. It’s hard to see in this photo, because apple decided my ‘i-phone’ needed a compass rather than a camera zoom. But there’s a dog sitting on top of the car. When I came home 2 hours later it was still there, napping. If I could get a better photo I’d blow it up as a poster and add a caption such as “just chillin’” and make a mint.

Tags: dogs
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October 31, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
I was lazing in bed before going to sleep. I’d just read about 20 pages of Ned Polsky’s ‘Hustlers, Beats and Others’, which is a mid-sixties sociological study of what we’d now call sub or counterculture but minus the political rhetoric. And then I was browsing through the New York Times on my ‘i-phone’, which is the best free news source I’ve encountered as an ‘application’ so far. And then I rolled over and noticed a large gecko walking along the bedside table. Once it noticed me it took shelter beneath the stereo. Fortunately I saw that ‘man vs nature’ show, so I figured out how to capture it and relocate it to the aspidistra plant in my back yard.

Tags: gecko polsky new york times
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October 26, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
I tried to grow some carrots. It was not entirely a success.

Tags: carrots
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October 24, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
I was up waterfall gully again today. The place is lousy with lilys. Scenic like a beast. Here’s a picture.

Tags: bikes waterfall gully
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October 23, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
I was hauling my fat little butt up towards Marble Hill today, and it was a pretty nice day so there were quite a few cyclists out. I’m usually in a pretty good mood whilst cycling, so I tend to wave at those who pass me. Sometimes they wave back. Sometimes they just glower. I don’t know if its some etiquette I don’t understand. But I figure, we’re both up there, pedalling away, wearing our ridiculous lycra. We can both see each other. It’s hard to pretend we haven’t noticed each other. Seriously. When two cyclists pass on an empty road up in the hills, it’s like if two clowns passed each other on a deserted street. Or if two women in wedding dresses both saw each other at Coles. You obviously notice each other. You know you’ve both got something in common. Say hello. It’s not that hard.
So anyway, I was going up towards marble hill, and this other cyclist was descending and as he passed he yelled my name and it turned out to be a friend of mine I haven’t seen in ages. So then we were standing on the side of the road, re-splendid in our lycra, like two brightly coloured stickmen. We talked about components and frames for a bit, then magpies and the frequency of their attacks, and then basically the conversation went into the usual remarks about how working sucks shit and cycling is amazing. It was a nice moment of male bonding. I think particularly the discussion of magpie attacks is what triggered it. I felt better about the frequency with which I’ve encountered the Bogans of the Sky after that. If they can inspire male bonding on lonely back roads, then maybe there’s a silver lining to their dark, swooping shadow.
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October 19, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
Right now I’m meant to be teaching a class. But I’ve got them doing the course evaluation whilst I mill around outside in the sun. And, thanks to modern technology, I can update this blog while I’m at it! Isn’t the modern world amazing!?!
Tags: technology modern world
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October 18, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die

Corkscrew Road
Above is a picture of Corkscrew Road, my current favourite climb in the Adelaide Hills. You get onto it by going up Gorge Road for about 18km and then turning left. Apparently it’s 9%, which is actually slightly steeper than Alpe d’Huez, except it’s only a quarter of the length.
There are a number of things I particularly enjoy about Corkscrew Road. Firstly, one feels like a big man after one successfully drags one’s self up it. Secondly, it affords one of the least trafficked routes within easy reach of the Adelaide metro area. Thirdly, there’s a lot of sheep and the occasional kangaroo. Plus there’s a lemon orchard. So its very endearing. And, fourth, its insanely picturesque (pictured). And, finally, it provides valuable fodder in accumulating annoying and highly detailed diatribes about cycling which can be imparted to ones friends, family and well wishers.
For the further accumulation of annoying details on cycling, such as hill gradients I suggest: http://www.cycle2max.com.au/
Tags: Bikes Being Annoying
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October 13, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
I spent the whole day working which sucked. It was a whole pile of crap. Then the weather was monsterous. But I thought, ‘To Hell with this!’, pulled on my trusty pair of 3/4 Santini bibs and went out riding. Then I almost crashed on Greenhill Road, hitting a pothole at 35km/h and getting a front wheel wobble. After that I saw a whole pile of ducklings, which was endearing. Then I enjoyed the glorious scenery at the top of Waterfall Gully, which put me in fantastic spirits. Except then I saw this magpie and it was looking at me funny. And I thought ‘I know that look’. And sure enough the monster swooped me. The only way to stop a swooping magpie is to give it a bit of a glaring. So I was glaring and it was sort of hovering above me waiting for me to look away so it could attack. And then I guess it got nervous or something because it took a huge crap. I could see a huge globule of bird poo hovering through the air. I saw the wind catch it and alter it’s trajectory and suddenly it was curving downward toward me. I tried to alter course to get away from it but I had to keep glaring at the magpie so I couldn’t swerve that much and I was stuck there watching this shit plummet down toward me and hit me on the arm. After that the magpie kept swooping for another 100 metres or so. Then it rained.
That said, it was still nice to go out for a bike ride.
Below are pictures of Waterfall Gully & the magpie turd on my arm. Enjoy.


Tags: bikes, horror, magpies, turds
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October 11, 2009 by Fuck Off And Die
It’s been a week since I got back from Newcastle’s This Is Not Art, where the best and brightest young things mix with some of the most loathsome bogans ever encountered. Inexplicably this unique dichotomy has inspired a new wave of activity, most notably an attempt to master the use of the ‘new media’ including the use of my ‘i-phone’ to update blogs with up to the minute updates on the sheer glory of the modern world. Who would have thought I could update the Internet with my iPhone!?! That’s amazing!
If I understand right, this post should include an image of Totoro’s Teahouse, one of the highlights of this year’s festival.

Tags: modern world TINA
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